Dry runs the well
of lies to tell
myself when I dip into slumber
Were I a mystic sleuth
I’d face the enlightening truth
of who I really am
But I like this sham
Upheld with wavy hands
My improvement path of personal growth
And if the jig were ever to be fully up
I’d just conjure more schmutz
So when I look in that mirror
I wouldn’t see myself any clearer
I’d look pretty and smile
Gather up breasts and what’s left of the wiles
coo and purr, me, a sly minxy fox
I’d look handsome and sly
Flex my pecs to see gains of mine
bare teeth and howl, me, hunter wolf on the prowl
I’ll dig a new well
and watch fresh new lies swell
this desert mirage will keep its shimmer
another ten years
to hammer in doubts and fears and
make me see I was wrong all along
because it’s not easy now
to admit I don’t wear a crown
that despite the growth I’ve never shined any dimmer
Inspiration Revealed #
My muses inspire me when I write.
Your muses inspire you when you read.
Below I choose to disclose the inspirations and interpretations of my own poems.
Maybe our muses told us some of the same things. Read on below if you really want to find out.
Inspiration #
It’s a curious thing to look back at my past and be able to so clearly pick out the mistakes I thought were victories and the victories I thought were mistakes. It’s funny how they can flip flop, even from one day to another. Maybe that’s part of what they call a “fickle” memory.
On the odd occasion, there are moments that I remember as victories and they remain victories; there are mistakes that remain mistakes.
In a nutshell that is what this poem is about. On some days I wake-up feeling like I’ve made progress on other days I feel like I’m ten steps back and backtracking more than I’d like. I ask myself, during both good and bad days…am I lying to myself? Will I one day in the future look back and ask “How easy it is to see now that I was delusional. How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so wrong? How do I stop doing this to myself?”
Personal growth is painful. Should it be? Yes. There is always the advice of “lean into discomfort” but I wonder just how much to lean. My advice is the more discomfort the better. I’d almost even say that the more painful the better. Yes, if I had to rewrite that piece of advice I’d say “lean into the pain. There is gold there.”
Yet, I’m a hypocrite but I’m getting better about heading towards willing pain. Yes, there is gold there. It just takes a lot of digging.